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husnaidris89  

This is the post from my Instagram account on 3 April 2017 at HUKM after I've done my surgery. Hehe. Wrote this sambil menangis for more than 1 hour. WHY?? In the next post, I'll update. InsyaAllah. so let's read what's on my mind on 3 April.

Warning. Ini post panjang. 😂
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Part one 😆
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Alhamdulillah the surgery this morning went well. I hope after this everything is okay. InsyaAllah. Huhu 😭
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Xde siapa nk disalahkan, everything is my mistake. So, learn izni. Learn. 😊
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October 2014 lagi sebulan nak bernikah. I need to prepare for my master viva. End up, I have to submit the final thesis early in December (one-month correction) sounds great kan. All of these sudden stress and annoying procedure delay the final submission process finally.. Haha.. I've surrendered, I've warded. Two weeks before tarikh nikah.. Hectic sungguh. After warded, sempat lg balik jb. Siapkan mana patut, balik kl, nikah, ahad sanding then isnin balik jb untuk siapkan binding process. Sampai dkt pejabat fke. 'nape x cakap nk kawen.. Ni dah dapat tangguh da' i was like 😴😴 takpe lah.. Dah siap da thesisnya.
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You know. If you admit to the hospital, 6 months later baru okay. Means I need to take medicine for solid 6 months. Tapi sebab rasa nk ada anak 😑 January 2015 aku sah mengandung.
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Here comes the pain that I have to bear for almost 2 years and 3 months... Sah je pregnant, stop all medicine. Effect baby. Badan aku x boleh tolerate. Bengkak sana sini. Paling best dekat jari macam dlm gambar. Alhamdulillah, my pregnancy process was fun. No morning sickness. No other difficulties until labor day.
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Sampai 5 bulan breastfeed hana. Doc cakap. Please izni, stop breastfeeding. Memudaratkan awak je. Aku jawab. Its okay. Aku boleh tahan. Just give me 6 months, exclusive breastfeeding. 😂 

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Part two 😆
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Pergi hospital sana sini nak betulkan jari yang macam hape ni. Last2 after several tests and months. Doc cakap.
Izni,jari awk dah x boleh lurus. I was like 😭😭😭😭 it cannot be.. Come on doc.. Aku nangis2 dekat ubai. Tuhan je tahu apa aku rasa. Subhanallah.
Menyesal pregnant? Yes, absolutely at that time.
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Its okay. Dugaan tu untuk aku. Aku kuat.
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The things yang aku nk story dekat sini.
1) semua orang sakit dalam dunia ni. Tak yah la biar benda tu down your entire life. Happy je la.

2) tak payah sibuk-sibuk nak tanya orang 'bila nak ada anak?' 'anak kedua bila lagi' 'hana nak adik la..' aku balik rumah menangis dengan ubai. Just stop it, please. Aku belum cukup kuat mental nak harung semua benda ni. Nak suruh pregnant lagi. Aku rasa aku takut. Bukan aku taknak, bukan aku tolak rezeki Allah tapi badan aku belum cukup bersedia.

Solan macam ni.. Bukan dekat aku je maksud aku dekat sesiapa pun. Tak payah tanya kalau ko tak rapat pun dengan empunya badan.

3) semua orang ada benda sensitive yang dia rasa dia tak nak dan tak hingin pun nak cerita dekat orang. Biar je la. Sampai masa, dia cerita la kalau dia nak cerita.
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Terima kasih dekat family mak abah along balong, my in laws 😆😆. Kawan-kawan. Terima kasih. Doakan aku. Support aku.

Tq encik suami. Teman malam tadi tapi pagi ni g keje 😢 tak teman. Haha. Xpela, aku yg suruh dia g keje.

Doakan orang yang sakit. Tadi tengok, baby nak kena operate 😭 hancur luluh hati aku. Ape la sakit baby tu. Ade pakcik, tengkorak kepala dah berjahit penuh. Subhanallah. Sakit kita ni sikit je, orang lain lagi la. Beringat sikit. Enjoy your life. 🙂😄🙂